Ready to open the closet doors
I’m Claire; 18, about to go to university, and living in the UK. Yes, I know, this isn’t a coming out story. But I feel like I might want to come out soon… maybe. Perhaps. Right now, though, I’m having difficulty figuring out how I go about it and my head will not qUIT TELLING ME TO ~ORGANISE~ IT, like it’s some cheesy surprise party or something. Actually that’d be a pretty fucking rad way to come out.
Came Out Last Night
I just turned 14 yrs old. I have always been in touch with my manly side. My friends always thought I wanted to be a dude, and I guess that is somewhat true. I never really considered myself as gay in any way, but last year I met one of my best friends, Allison, who helped me out a lot. I told her one time I had 3 secrets, and 2 of them I was okay telling her, but the third I was really nervous over. So I sat there texting her until I felt really comfortable and I just came out and said it. And she said she had been able to tell the whole time due to her ‘gaydar’ and that she was also. She said not many people knew, but since I trusted her enough to tell her, she would trust me enough for me to know. Well, I did crush on Allison, it’s hard not to when you trust someone that much. I’ve known I’m half gay for 2 years now. Last night Allison and I were talking and I told her I was tired of hiding who I was, so I sent out a mass text to about 10 of my friends and told them. I told them they should spread it, I wanted them to spread it. There are 2 weeks left of middle school and if I get harrassed, whatever. I won’t know any of these people besides my friends next year because I will be going to a completely different school. If I get beat up, at least it is because I am myself. So thanks, Allison. I’m looking forward to Tuesday.
My coming out
My coming out has had its easy moments and its hard times.
Currently I am out to all of my friends, a cousin, and some coworkers. I haven’t had anyone treat me any different after telling them.
The beginning…
So I’ve figured out in the past year or so that I like girls, and I’m not sure if I like guys or not. But I’ve been coming out as bisexual to my friends, explaining just that to them, and people are very accepting of me! This one girl, though, I thought was my friend. So I told her, and then she told everyone that I was bi, even people that don’t know me. I mean, I didn’t mind because I’m proud of who I am but I just thought that was an odd thing to do. Well, apparently, one of my friends told me that she these girls were talking about how much of a “weird, disgusting lesbian” I am. And my friend stuck up for me, and then texted me about it on the bus while we were hanging out with people on the bus. I started laughing at how ridiculous the story was, and she asked me, “well are you?” and I said, out loud, “yeah, I’m actually bi.” and this one guy said, “THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME” and this other guy was like “yeah, that’s cool good for you” and we were all laughing hysterically and everyone was being so accepting! It made me really happy, so I decided to come out to my mom when I got home, telling her the story. At first, she said, “you’re to young to know. and you better not be doing this to get attention.” I explained to her that i was sure that I like girls, but I wasn’t sure if I was bi or lesbian or pan, and explained that the reason so many people are coming out earlier is because they’re less ashamed of being who they are. She thought I was trying to be “trendy” but then I explained to her the reality. Then she said, “well, at least you won’t ever get knocked up at some party!” I was a little offended by that, that she thought I would ever do that, but I still laughed and said, “well, yeah, thank god I don’t think I’ll ever get pregnant! I wouldn’t want to go through THAT!” I’m still not sure if I am bi, or lesbian, or pan, but I know that I’ve been crushing on girls for the past couple of years, and that I have such a big crush on this girl that I can’t deny it to myself or anyone else anymore. I am only 15, so maybe I need to just wait and find out if I like dudes before I label myself. So I am sort of just safe under the title of “bisexual” even though I have a feeling I am lesbian. But I just want to thank people like you, on this blog, who support LGBT people. You guys rock, I love these posts too! <3
Obviously I’m less interesting than Dumbledore
So I’m bi, and last week I came out to the second person ever (other than the internet, hello internet). Apparently she was trying to stall for time or something while she was figuring out how to react, because we then proceeded to have this conversation.
B: Are you going to tell [our mutual friend] M?
Me: Not yet, she’s really homophobic. I’ll tell her when I come out to my family.
[some backstory here: I’m going to come out to my family when I’m financially independent, hopefully in about a year, because there’s no way I won’t be kicked out. Until then, I’m only coming out to a select few people who I’m sure won’t tell them.]
B: How do you know she’s homophobic?
Me: I don’t know, there are a bunch of reasons. Like, when I dressed up as Dumbledore that one time and then we had a conversation about him, and she was really homophobic about it. Other things too, I guess.
B: What does Dumbledore have to do with anything?
Me: He’s gay. You never heard?
B: No. How do you know?
So the rest of my coming out speech was basically us discussing Dumbledore’s sexuality, instead of mine.
(She was OK with it in the end, I think. We used to have this running joke about the two of us being in a relationship, which she hasn’t brought up since, so yes, things are still a little awkward. She hasn’t acted particularly weird around me other than that, though, and she was vocally accepting.)
“Oh thats it?” *talks further about some random stuff*
(Im a bi girl btw)
Today I came out to a friend of mine. I was reeeeeally nervous. I extra told her that I want to come to her house to talk with her about something…
Once I was there we went to her room and I was hum and har for about five minutes… She was guessing some random stuff “Does it has to do with you’re mother” “Are you moving?” ect. Finally I just said:
“mhh, I think I like girls-”
She:”Oh, you like girls more than boys?”
Me “No, I like them both…”
She: “oh, thats it? YOu’re bi?”
Me: “uhmm, yes..”
She:”So what? I know a few gay ppl” *talks about some random stuff*
Well, I guess I was a totally drama queen about it… I was soooo fucking nervous!! But for she it was like I had told her I have ate panckaes for lunch yesterday. Yeah, so what??-attitude
I’m really happy!
Confused (Bisexual)
I’m a 14 year old African American Christian girl and my whole life I’ve been taught love is between a man and a woman. When I turned 10 I saw a girl kiss another girl on the cheek on tv. It was a simple friendly peck, but it was the most intriguing thing I had ever seen because the kiss was shared between 2 women. I must have replayed that in my mind a hundred times. A little while later, my cousin showed me porn for the first time and I was completely disgusted. The porn was of a man and a woman and I remember sitting there cringing and turning my head. After a while I started actually watching it and I started to feel something. My hearted beaten fast, my stomach tightened with bits of adrenaline pumping through my veins. That was the first time I ever experienced a little wetness down there. When I got home I searched for my own porn but it started off with just girls. Girls kissing, girls touching, girls seducing, anything. I watched that a lot when my mom was at work. I even taught myself how to masturbate when I was alone in my bed when I was around 11. I rubbed myself in circular motions slowly…then faster and gave myself an orgasm. I was freaking out because I didn’t know what was going on. My body took control and drove me off the edge. And the whole time I fantasied about a woman. My mom has caught me watching porn a number of 3 times to date. She even had a talk with me about it. She told me that I could talk to her if I was curious about a man, but that was never the case. I was curious about a women. I still imagine lesbian sex with another girl as well as being in a relationship with one. Kissing them and holding them close. I even go on tumblr and youtube sometimes to search for happy lesbian couples. Now I’m 14 and have 1 bisexual friend who is currently in the closet. My school isn’t really that homophobic, it’s just my friends happen to be. They’re always calling any openly lesbian girl or gay boy “fag” or “dyke” and it really pisses me off. They hate being near lesbian/bi girls because they instantly think because they are lesbian/bi, they have a crush on them. I recently found out there’s and LGBT club (all of them who are apart of it took a vow of silence one day. That’s how I found out who is actually lesbian, gay, bi, and trans.) at my school and I really want to check it out, but I know my friends found out they’d be weird about it. I really don’t know what to do. I think I like girls, and I’ve always liked guys, and I secretly hope this is not just a phase. If I told any of my friends, I don’t know how they’d react. If I told my family (who is pretty religious) they might be disappointed.
Isnt it awful when you decide to come out to the only single person you think would understand, and they react by trying to convince you its only your delusional mind?):
wondering
I’ve been watching and reading “Coming out stories” on YouTube and here.
As I said I’m gay and in the closet. Those stories make me feel somethings strange. I feel happy because they could do something I couldn’t do yet. But, I also feel sad because I wanna do the same and feel free but there’s something in me which is stopping me.
It is so strange for me….
How can I know when is the monent? how can I know who is the first person I should say it? Who can give me an advice?
I think I shoud have a mate before saying nothing because he would suport me in that monent… I don’t know, I-m confuse, so confuse. Moreover, I don’t have gay friends so I can’t talk to anyone…
Ok, I said all I had to say about it today.Thank you for reading ;)
This is my tublr> msminds.tumblr.com
When I Came Out.
Well, before anything major happened, when I was about six years old I kissed my friend on the cheek. I thought the butterflies were out of embarassment when she told me not to do that again, but after about two years, I kind of started to wonder if it was something different.
When I was either 11 or 12, I came out to my dad upstairs in their bedroom, telling him about how I thought I was bisexual. I remember begging him not to tell mom because she’s such a devout Christian. He was perfectly fine with it and mom eventually came to be getting mad saying I could tell her anything. (That and I was too young to even know.) Two years later as a fourteen year old, my second best friend and I decided to give dating a try. It was magic. Unfortunately she was moving and I seriously needed some emotional support. It seemed my parents had forgotten all about the previous talk.(That, or they believed I moved past it) yet again, I went to my father first.
Predictably, he already have a feeling I had been dating the girl and had no issues with it. He just talked to me and helped me stop crying. Mom on the other hand…. Reacted horribly. She said it was a bit of bullcrap and that I yet again thought of her as a friend and not a girlfriend. I ended up resorting to writing a note to her telling her otherwise because I was afraid of getting hit by a bible. No kidding there. She claimed it was ‘end of story’.
Months later and nothing went better. She became distrusting of other females. I can’t give girls gifts without her thinking that they are more than friends. It is safe to say coming out was the WORST thing I could have ever decided to do.
Interested in men sexually and women for a relationship - I’m sure I’m not the first person to bring this up, but I have been struggling with my sexual identity for well over a decade now. Every time I think I’ve got it figured out the other side of my duality comes up. There have been frequent times, because of my sexual interest in men, that I feel like I should come out and accept that I’m gay. However, just as frequently, I can only see myself in a relationship with a woman.
Okay so my coming out story was absolutely horrible.I’ll make it quick. Coming out, especially in an Asian family is hard enough, and took so much guts and courage. At first my mum was accepting and supportive but it was all an act and a lie. Later down the track she was against the idea of her song being gay to the point she actually brought a pastor to our house to speak to me about this issue. Things got worse and out of hand so I just left home. She thinks I’m cured now lol.
My (long) story
well, me realizing that i am gay is a bit…ok a lot different from pretty much every story here. So here it is…
(i’m a gay 14 year old boy from Scotland)
I’m twenty-one and I came out to my dad two hours ago. I’ve been working up to it since I was twelve; ever since I figured out I liked boys. He sort of facepalmed for a second, then he slid off the couch, knelt down, pressed his face to the floor and started sobbing. He kept saying things like “You’re too young” and “You’ll suffer” and “Please don’t stop studying”. I sort of hugged him and told him it was okay and that it wasn’t that bad and he insisted that he didn’t think it was bad, he just hoped that I wasn’t gay. Which sort of means he does think it’s bad. And then we maybe had a little bit of a disagreement over the fact that he wanted me to “Please wait until I’m gone” and the fact that I’m not willing to put my personal life on hold and repress myself because it makes him uncomfortable.
Sheesh. When my mum gets back from this work dinner she’s attending, he’ll probably tell her. Let’s hope she takes it better than he does. She probably will, she’s an Elton John fan.
Leaving Narnia
I was an average girl growing up. I had boyfriends and drooled over hot guys with my friends. But my whole life I’ve always felt like something wasn’t quite right. I just pushed it to the back of my mind and carried on. However, when I was 12, the unimaginable happened: I developed a crush. On a girl.
My family is really old-fashioned and homophobic, so I kept my newly discovered bisexuality a secret. Let’s face it: I was so far in the closet that I could see Narnia. I was terrified that my friends and family would practically disown me for the way I felt. It wasn’t until I had just turned 14 that I finally told my mom. She is the most accepting person in my family, so naturally I thought that it would be the right move. To say the least, she didn’t react the way I expected. No yelling, cursing, or fire-breathing. She just smiled and shook her head. I was relieved at first, until she muttered the dreadful words: “Don’t be ridiculous, Breanne. It’s just a phase”. Although I was certain of my sexuality, I was really hoping she was right. I was going to be starting high school, and I was terrified of being rejected or worse…bullied.
Fortunately, she wasn’t. I’m now 15, almost a sophomore in high school, and a proud bisexual. I no longer think there’s anything to be afraid of, and I’m happy just being me. I talked to my mom a month ago or so and she’s finally starting to accept the fact that it’s not “just a phase”. I won’t grow out of it. I’m now thrilled to say that I’m slowly but surely starting to come out to my friends as well.
So, if you’re going through a tough time coming out and need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I don’t judge and I would love to offer as much advice/help as I can.
Stay strong<3