When I Came Out...

I am 16-year-old male and I’ve been concidering myself as gay, like, my whole life. I was never actually sure about it until 2 years ago I got a girlfriend through an Internet. She lives 6 hours away from me. We liked same things and were alike and I liked her and she likeS me so we started dating.

During the affair I started questioning my own sexuality. Being with her (we met like once a month) didn’t help finding myself ‘cause I felt myself straight every time I was with her. I remember alway at night when we were apart I texted her sad messages about how I had a secret I didn’t want to tell and how I cried about it. I was so sad at that time and very depressed and I even concidered suicide. I was so close with her and I didn’t want to break it all.

While we had dated a year, we were chatting in the Internet, I told her how I can’t be her object of love anymore. She asked why, but I just said that I’m not ready to tell yet because it hurted so bad already. Then she said that she was feeling worse than me which was probably true. Then she went offline and we didn’t talk in two weeks. I know, I was bastard when I left her that way.

While I didn’t talk to my ex, I came out to my big brothers girlfriend who I am friends with and she was very supportive and said that I needed to tell this to my ex. And so I did. It wasn’t easy but it sure was worth it. She was so happy for me and asked why I didn’t say it in the first place. Now we are best friends and hide nothing from each other. She’s just a little bit attached to me still but it gets over

Now I’m open to all my friends but not to family. I’m scared of their reaction, especially dad’s because he is super duper homophobic. Maybe when I am able to support myself 100% I am able to tell them.

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My friend Gina is a girl I have carpooled with to college and studied with for two years. She is really cool and we hang out all the time, but I was so sure she has no idea that I am bi and I didn’t know how to tell her. I have never had to tell anyone before. My friends have all been with me since puberty and they all know. Many times, they have broken it to people by how they jokingly make fun of me for it. :)

To me, I was kind of thinking of Gina like “you are missing some really great opportunities to make fun of me for some of the stuff that comes out of my mouth!” :D   Also, most people know and I would hate for her to find out through someone else.

So the other day, I told her. Very awkward conversation. VERY. She just sat there and stared at me like she was so pissed off she didn’t know what to say. Then she repeated conversations we had had that day and turned everything I had said that day into some kind of predatory sexual come-on. “So when I laid down on your bed and said I’d like to sleep there tonight and you said ‘Go ahead’, you were really thinking about SEX!”

NO. I WAS NOT. >:(

So here is my rant on this subject. I thought she was a good friend and I am not cool with being treated like I was trying to molest her all this time! We have hung out for two years! I helped her try on bras in Lane Bryant for 45 minutes and we cleaned out all of the closets in her house. She is NOT hot. I have never thought about sex once in her presence.

Why would you think that now - all of a sudden - my entire goal is just to screw you????? I am not some predatory molester who is just out to have sex with every girl if I could just get the chance. You have known me for two years! How could you possibly think that of me?!?!?! You liked me five minutes ago when you didn’t know! Reality check: I was gay before I told you!!!!

And by the way, it takes two consenting adults to have sex, especially for girls! What do you think I am going to do?? Dive at your crotch like a freaking labrador??!?!

GRRRR!!!! I am just so angry and disappointed in her. 

So hi, i’m Jasmine, a 16 year old girl, and i’m something i havent titled yet..bc not sure if i’m lesbian or bi (hopefully bi). I have always kinda known i’m different.. Never checked on boys as other girls did. When they all agreed about a dude being hot, i always ended and still end up disagreeing. When i was little I didnt know that that feeling is called ‘being homosexual’.. i just knew i was different than other girls in a sertain way. I was actually 13 when i kinda understood that i am gay. And it was a shock for me and i just couldnt take it bc i had heard others making jokes on gays etc..and naturally thought it’s a bad thing. I also didnt know anyone being gay. Just some celebs who ppl laughed at. But yea, so it took me a year to accept the idea that i might be gay..and I kinda came out last year around November by telling my best friend. B4 telling her i had prepared her for it since the autumn by asking many many times that what would she say if i told her i’m gay/trans/bi? And the answer was always: “nothing, but would be shocked.” i told her after a couple moths of asking.. And she answered: “Oh really. You finally told..! I ofc guessed after so many times of asking”. Lol kinda funny now afterwards xD

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I came out to 4 people 3 girls and 1 boy. The girls took it well but the boy sort of went and told the whole school i was gay and that didn’t go well with a catholic school which was ok with some people. My mum took it well and so did my dad and his fiancee. That was ok but i got bullied by homophobic wankers. It did feel great to be accepted but not all people in Christian Ireland.

ok so im natalie im 17 and a lesbian (for now) i think im bi but high school guys are stupid horny dirty hairy and disgusting anyway ever since i was little like before kindergarden i use to hate anything girly it burned i wanted to be a guy so badly i mean imagine a elementry kid crying to god every night wishing to be a boy back then i liked guys i hated girls didn’t find them interesting thought barbies and playing house or dress up was stupid oh and even to this day i WILL NOT EVERWEAR A DRESS my family (which ranges from 11-17 ppl) disaproved and bullied me on my feelings about wanting to be a guy my mom tried to be nice about it but she is very controling she tries to be excepting but her whole life shes been the leader the one everyone listens to so she wanted me to go down the right path to follow gods rules(im catholic) but i dont believe god ment that we can be gay so yah i quit wishing to be a guy it was the dream of a child lol but seeing how mean and hurtful my family was to me when i was a CHILD how they made me hate myself they made me wish i liked who i was and didn’t want to change it makes me afraid to come out to them i dont want to relive my childhood i dont want to be teased and lectured and yelled at and beat up 24/7 like before(i was never beat up by parents only my brother and he got hell for it from my parents but he will still beat me up punishment doesn’t afect him) i already come out to all my friends and im not afraid of the ppl in our friend circle to find out what im scared of is thatis they put it on facebook or say something around a family member without thinking and out me and then i end up being tortured until i can get away from all my family (which also means leaving my awesome amazing friends) :( i dont want to leave but i cant just let my family hurt me mentally and phsically I DONT KNOW WAT TO DO AND NEED HELP IF U CAN GIVE ME ADVICE MESSAGE MY TUMBLR http://foreverafriend16.tumblr.com/ 

OR EMAIL ME AT nataliemharvey@yahoo.com and no im not afraid that my family will find this becuz none of them would look for anything gay related online unless im not the only one

Coming out for me has been a mixed bag; while a lot of people, including most of my friends and family. However, a lot of hate has sprung up from those who didn’t really like me before. Originally, it was a little thing between me and my friends - they didn’t really mind my sexuality at all.

However, things changed when the self-propagated rumour spread that I was bisexual. For 2 years, I’ve had an onslaught of mockery and questions, both serious and sarcastic. This was not helped at all when another rumour (which I did not deny as I do not tell lies) was spread that I had gay sex. ONCE. 4 YEARS AGO. And yet people seem to think it’s the intrical thing in my personality and history. Let me tell you right now; even though that was a moderately important experience of sexual discovery in my life, I would not go so far as to make a stupid 10-year-old decision with a friend the centre of my life.

Now, there are other things people use against me. My ‘bad looks’, my love of ‘cartoon porn’ (anime), my general nerdiness and lack of being friends with more than 3 people. I feel like it’s mostly childish immaturity, but it does get annoying and it makes school life a lot less enjoyable than it should be.

Most people I meet in the real world are perfectly okay with who I am; even my 54 year old father who I though would be outraged had no conflict whatsoever with my coming out. And so I think it will get better - as more and more people around me become more knowledgable and comfortable with both their own sexuality and the sexualities of others.

Peace out, one love etc.

Cal Halzalla (pseudonym to protect myself) - I can be contacted at poisonmaster98@gmail.com with any questions or just leave a comment if you can do that on tumblr.

I’m a closeted gay, and I haven’t found the courage to come out yet. I know I will get teased and stuff at school when I do, so I think the best thing for me to do is keep it a secret. But is the pain of getting teased and bullied about it worse than the pain of having to keep it a secret? To have to live a lie and pretend I’m something I’m not?

I could use some help and advice from someone who has been throughout this before. Please contact me.

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Hey there! I’m Ryan and I’m 14. I just recently came to the conclusion and accepted that I am gay. I realized that I have been gay my whole life because I remember never REALLY feeling attracted to girls, and I saw some home videos from when I was younger and just by the way I talked and acted it was obvious I was special! Anyway, to the coming out story. I guess it’s not actually a coming out story because I didn’t actually come out, it’s more of a found out story. So my mom came to pick me up from school a few weeks ago when I stayed after to practice for a concert. (I play the trombone) I got in the car, and as we left the school, she said to me “Weeeee need to talk about something serious.” It was that kind of tone that starts high and just gets lower. You know that really suspicious kind of tone. At this point I was scared. Does she know? Did she find my “magazines?” (Jk about the mags) and then she said “I was trying to set up my email on my phone and yours was up and I saw things from match.com and e-harmony and LGBT.” At this point, I was devastated and my heart sank. I had never felt so low before. I cried the whole way home and didn’t talk about it. I was really sad but also really mad at myself. What had happened was a few months before, I got on my email on her phone and forgot to log off. Then just before “the incident” I had emailed an LGBT help center for guidance on coming out. I had also been so stupid as to go to match.com and whatever…… I was just curious. So it’s all okay now, but I was going to wait till I was 17 to tell her. But know she knows and nobody else, and I plan on coming out when I’m 16 or 17. So, a few words of advice would be, wait until you’re ready, I mean absolutely ready, and start with close friends or cousins or aunts and uncles, and finish with your immediate family. My family, including myself, are all very conservative, but perfectly fine with gay people, accept for my dad. He’s not so okay with gay people I don’t think. He is set on the idea that marriage is a man and woman and people were put on this earth for the purpose of reproduction. But when you come out, people may not be so supportive at first, but they will come around. But usually for the most part, people are okay with it. This is 2013 for crying out loud! And here’s a few more things: you can be a father, and a great one with a partner. To avoid your kids being bullied at school, live in an accepting place like Seattle, San Francisco, Portland, places like that. Also, you are who you are and you need to learn to love yourself. Don’t worry about anything other people think. Here’s a few quotes:

I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to. - Jimi Hendrix

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Peter 4:8 (you can use this one if someone says its a sin to be gay)

And that brings me to this. Being gay is not a sin. I don’t care if you know the bible cover to cover. It’s not a sin. Why would god create something he condemns? He doesn’t condemn gays. And also, I hate the term gays or gay because I feel like I’m being put in a package with a big white label. I prefer the term human. I am human, you are human. We all are human and we all need love. I want someone who is kind, smart, funny, honest, adventurous, sarcastic, outgoing, and extroverted. I can fin a woman like that and a man like that. The only difference is the plumbing. I prefer the plug to the outlet. The p to the v. But so what. We are all people.

That’s all. I love you! I don’t know who you are that’s reading this but I love you and someone out there thinks you’re perfect. You may not feel perfect, and others may point out and only see your flaws, but somebody out there thinks you’re perfect. You’ve just got to find that person. If you want some guidance or have questions just email me. I check my email every day.

Adios Amigos! (I’m not Spanish or Mexican. I’m Irish, German, and Czech. And American haha.)

- Ryan - rtbvv001@gmail.com

i always knew i was gay. right from about the age of 8, i thought differently on the way i saw women and men. i believe that i was born gay. from a very early age i was a little feminine, for example all my friends were females, i hated sport, and i just didnt act like a normal boy. the time i thought i was different was when i was 14. i held onto being a little straight by believing i was bisexual. at first i told my friend, as it all got to much one time, and slowly i told my 5 closest friend that i was bisexual. over the next year, i suffered from panic attacks, depression, anxiety, and a range of emotions! i was going to school and having to leave class every 10 minutes because i had a upset stomach, and this was mainly on what people thought of me and what i was. on january 14th 2012 at around 11:15 i left my science class to go to the toilet. i came back and i really didnt feel well (stomach), and told my teacher and as i walked off i heard her shout ‘OH I FEEL ILL CAN I GO HOME’. this made me feel so stupid and worthless. i went to my form tutor and just walked in and burst into tears, i had never cried so much. i didnt know what to say to her, so i just cried for the next 15 minutes. eventually i told her about my problems at school on bow i was going to the toilet every 10 minutes and she rang my mum. my mum arranged me a doctors appointment for after school. for the rest of the day, i just sat in my tutors office, isolated from the rest of the school and i cried alot. i left school and headed to the doctors to see my doctor. i walked into the room and i knew i had to tell her. i knew i had to tell her about the panic attacks, stomach ache, anxiety, self-harm, depression, everything! i just blurted out that ‘im gay’ and i just cried again. the doctor said i had anxiety and depression, and sent me a referral to camhs (child and adolescent mental health services), and she urged me to tell my mum i was gay. i went home, not knowing what i was going to say, i said i wasnt going to tell her. i walked in and told my mum the doctor said id got anxiety. my mum said what about. and i said i dont know. my mum said, is it school? i said ;no’ so she said is it what your brother and sister call you? (they called me gay) and reluctantly i muttered the words ‘yes’. my mum reated nicely and i felt a littoe weight of my shoulders. my mum totally accepted me. she told my step dad who reacted in a small small negative reaction but i got used to it, my sister felt fine, and my brother reacted negative. i told my friends at school and sooner or later eveyrone knew my secret. apart from dad. my camhs sessions didnt really help, i just learn to feel better about myself and slowly and slowly i got better. a year later,  told my dad i was gay and announced it on facebook. i dont know why i was scared, everyone was fine. to be honest, i dont know why i felt shit about being gay, being gay is just as fine as being normal. being gay is acceptable theese days, and if people dont like it they no what to do. i am looking forward to a happy life as a happy, funny gay man. chris xx

So, to start at the beginning I will say I’m a 24 year old lesbian. I’m proud of it and not at all ashamed. I will say it took me until I was 23 to accept this about myself and that made my growing up and high school hard. I’m the daughter of a baptist mom and a Persian father. I was never really raised with a religion I kind of made up my own mind about that.

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I am a gay 20+ year old guy. And I’ve always known I liked boys from the age of 10 or 12. I’ve done some things kids tend to do when they are little with there brothers but noting to where it would rise any Suspicion, unless I come out. I’ve always had this attraction towards attractive guys through out middle school and into all 4 years in HS. I never once made an Indication that I was gay to anyone. Not family, friends or strangers. Several years in college and still am, I’ve noticed that I’m not in a rush to come out. I don’t have that support nest that others may have if something should happen. Their is only one person on this planet that consciously I’ve told who I really am. But not face to face. Through emails. I’m proud I made this very small step in what will one day be a larger one in sometime. I’m sad that I have to pretend to pactically everyone that I’m not who they think I am. I wish I could just be free of this weight off my shoulders. This is a story that I will continue to tell and one day wright s novel of my life for all to read. Take care. Love you all. :)

It took me a long time to admit to myself that I was a lesbian. I would go back and forth between women and men until I accepted that i was a lesbian. I then came out to my three closest friends (who are sisters) and one didn’t care at all and is supportive. One thinks there is no way I can be a lesbian because I have never been with a guy (I should ask her if she had to sleep with a girl to know she is straight >..

I first came out to my best friend, we were walking in our favourite hang out spot and I said “Dude, I like girls” and he felt happy for me for accepting who I was. That really helped a lot. I told my Dad a week later, and he’s totally fine with it and says it doesn’t matter. My mom on the other hand, grew up in a sheltered family and was never educated about people’s differences. She took it a lot harder. You get the idea :(. But now, everything is fine and all my friends still treat me the same! (why wouldn’t they?! :D)

So my coming out has been an incredibly long and painful process. I told a few of my amazingly close friends first, and they were absolutely fine with it, to be honest there was no surprise or questioning it. In fact, two of my friends admitted to me when I came out, that they weren’t straight, two already were out and the other was perfectly straight. Needless to say, I became very close to each of them. We started to become best friends one already was. And eventually I had my first taste of heart break. My friend casper told his friend Jodie. Now let me say this I have completely forgiven him for this, but it has truly shaped me as a person and it did make my coming out so very much longer, after telling him it took me 5 months to tell another person, and that only happened when I was off my face. Here’s the story. Ok I told Casper whilst we were walking home from school, and he was being super kind and he made me feel safe. So I just said

“Casper, I’m gay”

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I guess my story compared to others already on this website is not all that special. But, I feel like my unique perspective is something that may help others out. If at anything it may help others accept themselves for who they are and that is all that matters to me.

My name is Edward. I am an 18 year old college kid, born in Seoul, South Korea to a Korean mother and White American father. I was only 4 when I moved to my home town in Massachusetts. I do not have a whole mess of memories from Korea but, the ones I do have are really great ones. Oh yeah and I am gay. 

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