Still In The Progress
I am 16-year-old male and I’ve been concidering myself as gay, like, my whole life. I was never actually sure about it until 2 years ago I got a girlfriend through an Internet. She lives 6 hours away from me. We liked same things and were alike and I liked her and she likeS me so we started dating.
During the affair I started questioning my own sexuality. Being with her (we met like once a month) didn’t help finding myself ‘cause I felt myself straight every time I was with her. I remember alway at night when we were apart I texted her sad messages about how I had a secret I didn’t want to tell and how I cried about it. I was so sad at that time and very depressed and I even concidered suicide. I was so close with her and I didn’t want to break it all.
While we had dated a year, we were chatting in the Internet, I told her how I can’t be her object of love anymore. She asked why, but I just said that I’m not ready to tell yet because it hurted so bad already. Then she said that she was feeling worse than me which was probably true. Then she went offline and we didn’t talk in two weeks. I know, I was bastard when I left her that way.
While I didn’t talk to my ex, I came out to my big brothers girlfriend who I am friends with and she was very supportive and said that I needed to tell this to my ex. And so I did. It wasn’t easy but it sure was worth it. She was so happy for me and asked why I didn’t say it in the first place. Now we are best friends and hide nothing from each other. She’s just a little bit attached to me still but it gets over
Now I’m open to all my friends but not to family. I’m scared of their reaction, especially dad’s because he is super duper homophobic. Maybe when I am able to support myself 100% I am able to tell them.
Up until 6 months ago, I only ever dated men. As far as my family was concern, I was a straight female. I had had bi-curious tendencies, which I obviously never spoke of to my family. Why would I, if I had no intentions of acting on them?
my half coming out story lol i need advice for the other half if u want to message me
ok so im natalie im 17 and a lesbian (for now) i think im bi but high school guys are stupid horny dirty hairy and disgusting anyway ever since i was little like before kindergarden i use to hate anything girly it burned i wanted to be a guy so badly i mean imagine a elementry kid crying to god every night wishing to be a boy back then i liked guys i hated girls didn’t find them interesting thought barbies and playing house or dress up was stupid oh and even to this day i WILL NOT EVERWEAR A DRESS my family (which ranges from 11-17 ppl) disaproved and bullied me on my feelings about wanting to be a guy my mom tried to be nice about it but she is very controling she tries to be excepting but her whole life shes been the leader the one everyone listens to so she wanted me to go down the right path to follow gods rules(im catholic) but i dont believe god ment that we can be gay so yah i quit wishing to be a guy it was the dream of a child lol but seeing how mean and hurtful my family was to me when i was a CHILD how they made me hate myself they made me wish i liked who i was and didn’t want to change it makes me afraid to come out to them i dont want to relive my childhood i dont want to be teased and lectured and yelled at and beat up 24/7 like before(i was never beat up by parents only my brother and he got hell for it from my parents but he will still beat me up punishment doesn’t afect him) i already come out to all my friends and im not afraid of the ppl in our friend circle to find out what im scared of is thatis they put it on facebook or say something around a family member without thinking and out me and then i end up being tortured until i can get away from all my family (which also means leaving my awesome amazing friends) :( i dont want to leave but i cant just let my family hurt me mentally and phsically I DONT KNOW WAT TO DO AND NEED HELP IF U CAN GIVE ME ADVICE MESSAGE MY TUMBLR http://foreverafriend16.tumblr.com/
OR EMAIL ME AT email@example.com and no im not afraid that my family will find this becuz none of them would look for anything gay related online unless im not the only one
I was driving my relatives to Walmart to buy a Magic Bullet
- Me: *driving* I have to tell you guys something. And it’s something very serious.
- Cousin L: What’s going on?
- Cousin W: Okay…
- Cousin K: *quiet* (She already knew)
- Me: I’m gay. I like girls. No, it’s not a phase. I’ve known for years but never accepted it til now.
- Cousin W: WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU’RE NOT LYING. WHAT. *begins shaking the back of my seat and slapping my arm*
- Me: Ow, ow, yes I’m serious.
- Cousin L: …. I don’t know what to say. Why haven’t you told us sooner?
- Me: Because I was scared. This family is so tradition, racist, and homophobic.
- Cousin W: I have a best friend who is gay. I’m very accepting.
- Cousin L: I’m not homophobic.
- Me: I’m glad…
- Cousin W: Why aren’t you saying something, Cousin K?
- Cousin K: I already knew…
- Cousin W: WHAT. NOW I’M ANGRY CAUSE SHE KNEW FIRST.
- Cousin L: Why did you decide to tell us now?
- Me: I am tired of watching how I speak, being in the closet, and hiding who I am. It’s tiring and I’m trapped. I want to be free.
- Cousin L: If you tell the family, you know what will happen. They will disown you and toss you out as if you were never born. Are you ready for that?
- Me: I don’t know..
- Cousin L: I would wait until you can support yourself 100% and are with someone serious.
- Me: I think that’s what I’ll do.
- [The end]
Free, Finally Free, Forever Free..
March 9, 2013 I came out. I recently had an epiphany that I needed to be set free. Whether it was my sexual orientation, anger, drama, etc. I was so used to putting myself and my feelings on the back burner seeing how society reacts to things. I figured holding it in would make less of a fuss.. Man, Was I wrong. It just left me stressed.
So far everythings gone great!
I’m a 16 year old male living in South Carolina. I first realized i was gay when i wasabout 12 years old and thought to myself naw i can’t be gay. I’d never believed it to be a possiblity and wouldn’t come to accept it until late october last year. Up until the day i came out for the first time to someone i knew online (november 4) my gay experience has been a hell. When my dad thought i might be gay iwhen i was 12 and told me that if i went to hell for being that way he’d go to hell too i tried not being gay for a whole year. But eventually you just can’t not be who u r or you’ll go mad. for the past 2 and a half years i have struggled with the fact that I’m gay, not wanting to accept that that was who i was. I would tell myself that i could fake my whole life and marry some woman and pretend to love her and be “normal.” But i soon started to realize that whole idea was impossible. If i had to pretend for the rest of my life that i was straight, i was sure that i would kill myself. I started thinking that i could be gay in secret, that i never had ro tell my family or any of my friends. It would be too embarassing and everyone would judge me. Something clicked with me in october and i started to accept the title of homosexual. Never once, even when i realized i liked men, did i ever thinnk of myself as gay. I never WANTED to believe i was. But something told me to accept that i was in october so finally did. On november 4 something else inside me told me that i NEEDED to go home and tell someone. I came home from school and decided that i’d tell some people i knew on my xbox that i didn’t know in real life. That way they couldn’t run off and tell everyone at school about me right? I spent all afternoon trying to summon the courage to tell my friends that i was gay. when one of them said they were about to get offline u told them to wait and one by one invtold all of them seperately. The first person i told, vicky, conpletely understood me. it took me so long to tell her and i was so frightened and anxious. Only if you’ve come out yourself or come close do u understand what i felt. Vicky didn’t act surprised or sad like i thought she would, she just told me that it was fine and why would it matter. i continued to tell three other people who r all very supportive . i told my sister a few months later and she didn’t care at all. everything had been going fine and i was planning on telling my mom when she got a hold of my journal where i write EVERYTHING. She knew all about me being gay and quickly called my dad, blaming me being gay on him leaving us. This made me resent my mom for treading my personal journal and telling the one person id never wanted to tell that i was gay that i was gay. mom told me i was just going through a phase and we haven’t spoken about it since :(. My dad gets us one weekend in a month and last week was the week we had to go see him. I don’t really get along with my dad and i won’t get into a lot of detail cause that would take to long but lets just say he’s dine a lot to make me hate him. He told me that this week i didn’t have to come but i still had to talk to him in private when my mom came to drop of my sister. i sat in the car with him while my mom and sister waited and he eventually got around to me being gay. To my very very very very large suprise, he told me that i was a very responsible young man and that he didn’t care. This made me cry (in a happy way) and it brought us closer together. I know that there r a lot of bad coming out stories out there but i hope through mine u realize that in some good things come out of them. i plan on telling my best friend that I’m gay later this week. i wish the best of luck to any of u who r planning on coming out. U can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org or if u so happen to enjoy video games :) left4deadspace is my xbox live gamertag. Feel free to contact me anytime.
Coming out and a few words of advice.
Hey there! I’m Ryan and I’m 14. I just recently came to the conclusion and accepted that I am gay. I realized that I have been gay my whole life because I remember never REALLY feeling attracted to girls, and I saw some home videos from when I was younger and just by the way I talked and acted it was obvious I was special! Anyway, to the coming out story. I guess it’s not actually a coming out story because I didn’t actually come out, it’s more of a found out story. So my mom came to pick me up from school a few weeks ago when I stayed after to practice for a concert. (I play the trombone) I got in the car, and as we left the school, she said to me “Weeeee need to talk about something serious.” It was that kind of tone that starts high and just gets lower. You know that really suspicious kind of tone. At this point I was scared. Does she know? Did she find my “magazines?” (Jk about the mags) and then she said “I was trying to set up my email on my phone and yours was up and I saw things from match.com and e-harmony and LGBT.” At this point, I was devastated and my heart sank. I had never felt so low before. I cried the whole way home and didn’t talk about it. I was really sad but also really mad at myself. What had happened was a few months before, I got on my email on her phone and forgot to log off. Then just before “the incident” I had emailed an LGBT help center for guidance on coming out. I had also been so stupid as to go to match.com and whatever…… I was just curious. So it’s all okay now, but I was going to wait till I was 17 to tell her. But know she knows and nobody else, and I plan on coming out when I’m 16 or 17. So, a few words of advice would be, wait until you’re ready, I mean absolutely ready, and start with close friends or cousins or aunts and uncles, and finish with your immediate family. My family, including myself, are all very conservative, but perfectly fine with gay people, accept for my dad. He’s not so okay with gay people I don’t think. He is set on the idea that marriage is a man and woman and people were put on this earth for the purpose of reproduction. But when you come out, people may not be so supportive at first, but they will come around. But usually for the most part, people are okay with it. This is 2013 for crying out loud! And here’s a few more things: you can be a father, and a great one with a partner. To avoid your kids being bullied at school, live in an accepting place like Seattle, San Francisco, Portland, places like that. Also, you are who you are and you need to learn to love yourself. Don’t worry about anything other people think. Here’s a few quotes:
I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to. - Jimi Hendrix
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Peter 4:8 (you can use this one if someone says its a sin to be gay)
And that brings me to this. Being gay is not a sin. I don’t care if you know the bible cover to cover. It’s not a sin. Why would god create something he condemns? He doesn’t condemn gays. And also, I hate the term gays or gay because I feel like I’m being put in a package with a big white label. I prefer the term human. I am human, you are human. We all are human and we all need love. I want someone who is kind, smart, funny, honest, adventurous, sarcastic, outgoing, and extroverted. I can fin a woman like that and a man like that. The only difference is the plumbing. I prefer the plug to the outlet. The p to the v. But so what. We are all people.
That’s all. I love you! I don’t know who you are that’s reading this but I love you and someone out there thinks you’re perfect. You may not feel perfect, and others may point out and only see your flaws, but somebody out there thinks you’re perfect. You’ve just got to find that person. If you want some guidance or have questions just email me. I check my email every day.
Adios Amigos! (I’m not Spanish or Mexican. I’m Irish, German, and Czech. And American haha.)
- Ryan - email@example.com
RE: Well, I didn’t know where else to go for help.
So, this isn’t so much a coming out story as a response to one that I saw, because it’s something that I’ve, somehow, come into contact with a lot.
I’m a gay man. Who is very much in the Closet
I am a gay 20+ year old guy. And I’ve always known I liked boys from the age of 10 or 12. I’ve done some things kids tend to do when they are little with there brothers but noting to where it would rise any Suspicion, unless I come out. I’ve always had this attraction towards attractive guys through out middle school and into all 4 years in HS. I never once made an Indication that I was gay to anyone. Not family, friends or strangers. Several years in college and still am, I’ve noticed that I’m not in a rush to come out. I don’t have that support nest that others may have if something should happen. Their is only one person on this planet that consciously I’ve told who I really am. But not face to face. Through emails. I’m proud I made this very small step in what will one day be a larger one in sometime. I’m sad that I have to pretend to pactically everyone that I’m not who they think I am. I wish I could just be free of this weight off my shoulders. This is a story that I will continue to tell and one day wright s novel of my life for all to read. Take care. Love you all. :)
So this isn’t a story about me coming out personally, but in fact someone else I met whose story I just admired so much I felt the need to share it. I’m not going to mention any names obviously, I only met this person once I’m not even sure how he would feel about me telling his story to the world.
But anyways, about a week ago I went for a night out with some friends. The usual place, a heavy metal bar with cheap drink where of course you meet some interesting characters. I met this one guy who looked like the typical skin head, shaved sides with a bit of length in the middle, black jacket with tartan lining, ripped jeans and then what I noticed the most, black boots with white laces. Now for those of you who don’t know, Doc Martens or any other type of boot with white laces is generally the display of a white supremacist or Neo Nazi. I learned this from a friend who made the mistake of wearing red laces on his boots and had gotten chased by a group of them (red means communist). So I cautiously asked him about it. He told me the laces meant three things, white supremacist, neo nazi or retired neo nazi. He then went on to say how he was a retired neo nazi. I told him the story of my friend with the red laces, he gave a smirk and said it was probably him who had done it. Whenever he was in the city, he carried a small knife in his boot and if he saw anyone with red lases he would threaten them, beat them and finally cut off the laces. He then went angrily on about how he HATED communists. This was fair enough, a lot of people do. At the end of his speech I finally asked, “So what stopped you from being a Neo Nazi?” to which he replied, “Well, I got a boyfriend.”
Now to say I had a lot of respect for this guy when he came out is an understatement. That must take some serious courage. It’s one thing to come out, but to previously turn against everything you’ve believed in and admit that to yourself is another. And as I was wandering on facebook I found his profile and had a flick through some of his pictures. Not only has this guy come out, but I saw he now dresses in FULL drag. Make up, hair, the works.
How someone could have that amount of courage I’ll never know. But I think it’s a great story to show that no matter how bad you think the situation is, no matter how worried you are about coming out, you will find yourself, and happiness will find you.
Come out, be proud.
follow-up:13 yr olds kamakaze mission
Well I did it! It was awesome. I waited until the end of lunch period and finally (my bi friend was pestering me!) Just flat said it. And it went amazingly. One of my friends apparently had earlier in the day said “what if dillon was gay?” Wow what a coincidence I thought. Anyways they were all SUPER supportive. Now the question is how to tell the parents. All 4 of them. (Stupid divorce…) anyways hope it helps :D
Coming out c:
I came out last week to 2 of my best friends, i dont know why i was scared, considering one is openly bi and the other is bi but not as open. So i had this planned in my head how i hoped it would go, so anyways, i told them there was something i would like to tell them but i dont know how to and im kinda scared to, and i asked them to guess, my one friend asked if i was prego (its an inside joke) and then made a lot of other guesses when one of them said you kissed a girl after i said think random. And im just like ………. And hes like are you bi? And i said yep, they both took it how i thought they would, it went almost exactly how i thought it would, the worst reaction ive gotten yet was my mom, who told me that this is just a phase and not to come out to everyone. To this day, my sister and my dad dont know, much less everyone else. Someday i will. To anyone who is reading this and considering coming out, im here to say the first person is the hardest to tell, and i would advise you to tell someone else who is LGBTQ, very into gay rights, or someone who cares about you a lot who would care regardlessly, my 2 friends who were the first people i told were all 3. Once you do that, telling everyone else gets easier, trust me. You dont have to stay in the closet forever. c:
Hope this helps others
There are so many sad stories of others coming out and bullying, it saddens me but also prods me to share my story to show tht not all stories have to have a sad ending.
It is almost 30 years since I have come out and if you can imagine the pressure at that time, mostly put on myself by myself I had met someone that I had wanted to (at the time) spend my life with, I was 19 and grew up in in an affluent area of Northern California. I had convinced myself my parents would no longer love me and ask me to leave the family, I felt that besides my boyfriend I would be alone and the support from my family would stop completely. With all of this going through my mind my boyfriend and I attended Gay Pride in San Francisco and an after party at Cafe San Marcos- Grace Slick performed (thats how long ago LOL) - she had an older man with her who told us all of his life as a gay man sneaking around, sex in bathroom stalls and the misery he felt being closeted to everyone.
This is when I decided I would rather go it alone and be open and proud then live a sad closeted life - I visited my parents home the next weekend and after Sunday dinner I decided to tell them - bracing myself for the hatred and disappointment that I was sure I would receive - after telling my parents I was gay, I had a boyfriend and I was happy with my life - I was ready to pick myself up and leave never to come home again, when my mother got up from her chair, came to me, gave me a hug and told me she wished I had told them earlier so I could bring more friends home for holidays and visits.
Not at all what I expected nor was i ready for this - it was me who broke down - I was so prepared for hate I had a harder time accepting love. Almost 30 years later I have a wonderful family still so close with amazing nieces and nephews that I am an important part of their lives, a successful career, and an amazing partner of 15 years.
I am proud to be a gay man and if this story provides any inspiration for anyone coming out, to know that for as many horror stories there are stories of love and success.
the three f’s: fakes, friends and FABULOUS
So my coming out has been an incredibly long and painful process. I told a few of my amazingly close friends first, and they were absolutely fine with it, to be honest there was no surprise or questioning it. In fact, two of my friends admitted to me when I came out, that they weren’t straight, two already were out and the other was perfectly straight. Needless to say, I became very close to each of them. We started to become best friends one already was. And eventually I had my first taste of heart break. My friend casper told his friend Jodie. Now let me say this I have completely forgiven him for this, but it has truly shaped me as a person and it did make my coming out so very much longer, after telling him it took me 5 months to tell another person, and that only happened when I was off my face. Here’s the story. Ok I told Casper whilst we were walking home from school, and he was being super kind and he made me feel safe. So I just said
“Casper, I’m gay”
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about four months now. We met last year, on the first day of school, when I walked into class late and the only seat open was next to her. In November, we were going trick or treating with a group of our friends (it had been postponed to November because of a hurricane) and the whole night we were kinda hanging off each other, and we ended up ditching our friends at one point to make out in outfield on a baseball field. At the end of the night, she asked me to be her girlfriend and I said hell yeah because i was crushing hard on her for a year now. We don’t really hide our relationship in school, but we never really officially like… came out and said to everyone that we’re a couple. Our close friends knew for sure, we told them. But you know, people at school started figuring it out. If they asked, we told them that we’re dating- and everyone is so supportive. It’s amazing. There have been times where someone asks and I’m scared to tell them that yeah, I’m dating her, because I don’t know what they’re reaction will be but every time, without fail, it’s been positive. Even teachers have been supportive.
My family kinda found out by accident. Today is Valentine’s day and all… and I wasn’t able to sneak the present that she gave me by them when I came home. My sister got a hold of it first, but my mom was the first one to guess who it was from. She said it without even hesitating- and I could just stand there in shock while my sister read out the card she had made me and confirmed my mom’s suspicions. And they’re all cool with it. It’s amazing.
I’m still kind of confused about what I identify as, so when they ask, I just say I found someone I love. I care about this girl- this amazing, beautiful girl- and I get to call her mine and that’s the best feeling in the world.