When I Came Out...

My Coming Out Story
 
 
 
How I Came Out to Myself
​It was sixth grade. I was walking through the halls right before I went to lunch, and I saw this girl. She was an eighth grader at the time, but I just couldn’t keep my little sixth grade eyes off of her. She was completely stunning, and every time I saw her I couldn’t form my words correctly, I got the biggest butterflies, and I just could do nothing but stare. I thought this was normal. I though that everyone had the same feelings I did, so I just kind of shrugged it off. But at the same time, I noticed that all of my friends that were girls were either never talking about someone they liked, or talking about the cutes boy they knew and other things along that line. I just went along and tried to be normal. I never said a thing about my feelings for this girl.
​Then came the summer. I was heartbroken because I had found out weeks before that for one, the girl of my dreams was graduating and moving to California, halfway across the country from my town, and two, she had a girlfriend. Her girlfriend was the sweetest person when I met her a few weeks later at summer camp, so I tried to shrug off all of my feelings for her, because she obviously wasn’t going to break up with her girlfriend anytime soon. I was wrong; as it turns out they broke up a few short weeks after summer camp ended. When I found out they broke up, I was going to hang out with my best friend the next day, so It old my best friend that I really liked this girl. She thought it was weird, and she told me, “are you sure you don’t just admire her?” I replied with, “I’m sure.” After that encounter of coming out I talked to the girl a few days after I found out she was single and told her that she could talk to me about anything. We ended up texting back and fourth for a while, and started dating March of my seventh grade year.
​It was still new to me, dating a girl. But I knew my feelings and that I yearned for her. I accepted that fact and put it on the backburner for a few weeks.
 
 
 
 
Coming Out to My Parents
​I had, just minutes before I came out to my dad, done something that upset my mom so badly that she was in tears in her bathroom, and I was left alone to sit in my room with my father. I was in tears, practically bawling, and I told my dad that I needed to tell him something I hadn’t told really anybody, one of the triggers to my depression, was that I was gay. At the time, I told him I was bisexual just to lessen the blow, and he accepted me. Like any parent should, he told me that he and my mom would love me no matter what and that he accepted me fully; after that I found out that he used to work with a lesbian who was married to a woman, and she was a good person, so he gave everyone a chance. He told me that it might be phase, and I said that I was pretty sure it wasn’t a phase. Afterwards he asked me how I knew that I liked girls, and I told him about my crush on my girlfriend (I didn’t tell him I was dating her) and that I had liked other girls as well, coincidentally, they had both been former girlfriends with the same girl.
My dad told me not to tell my mom for a little bit, she would accept me, but she just wasn’t ready to hear that just yet. Soon enough, about a day or two later I was sitting in the car with my mom and we were just talking, and I brought up how I wanted LGBT history to be recognized and she didn’t disagree, so I felt it was a good time to tell her that I liked girls. She, at first, told me not to tell anybody (which I’ll talk about later on), and that she sincerely didn’t care that I liked girls, she just cared that I was the same person I was before, and that she loved me unconditionally, and then told me not to tell people once again.
 
Coming Out to Everyone Else
​I had already told my best friend, and she later told me that she didn’t want me to talk about it, so I didn’t, I understood why after a few months. She was uncomfortable with it, and I respected that. I then went on to tell my other friends, who, at the time, were totally okay with it. And I didn’t sit them down and tell them, I just kind of dropped hints whenever I would hang out with them, and they always told me they were cool with it. Then, I did something really stupid.
​I was still in a relationship with the same girl at the time, and I decided that I should post it as my face-book “in a relationship with…” section. A few hours afterwards, I received a call from a girl that was an eighth grader at my school at the time asking me if I was truly in a relationship with this girl, and I said yes. She then proceeded to tell me that her friend, my vice principal’s daughter, was spreading rumors about me being gay. Soon after, my mom found out about it and she knew I was dating the girl, but she didn’t want really anyone else to know. She yelled at me for going against her rules, so I changed it and had to explain the whole thing to my girlfriend. I would then get parents talking about me, and the guys at my school would talk about me, and some of my brother’s friends were even talking about it around my brother. I didn’t really want him to know because he had been calling me “lesbian” for a while before I even came out in a derogatory form, so I suspected that he wasn’t to open-minded. Teenage boys, what are you going to do about them?
​I never formally came out to my brother, I figured out that my mom had told him while I was at a friend’s house, and when I came back from it, she was driving me home and told me that. She then told me that my brother’s reaction was saying that of, “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” and stormed off. I never wanted this to affect my brother’s life, but it had a mind of it’s own and did. I pretty much ruined my reputation, and dented my brother’s.
 
8th Grade Year
​When I entered my eighth grade year, the first semester was fine, nobody was mean to me, nobody really spread any rumors about me, or anything, so it seemed amazing. At least for the first few months; I then learned that a girl who had attached herself to me, both as a friend and just creepily, had been calling me derogatory slurs related to my sexual orientation. How did I find this out? I found this out from a huge gossip at my school that was also my friend and the girl’s friend. The other girl was and still is a huge bitch with a lot of friends. I can tell you there are probably only two other girls who hate her out of 13, maybe not to my degree, but still; it counts.
 
Other
​I really haven’t been bullied to my face. Now, learning things that people say about you behind your back is still being bullied, but I’m not letting it defeat me. I cut pretty much every bull-shitter out of my life, and I do it by basically just isolating myself from that person until they get the hint. Yeah, that’s not nice, but neither is the person pretending to be okay with you and spreading rumors about you and making other girls hate you behind your back. Just stay strong, it’s hard, and you may just want to cry, but don’t let them see that they have defeated you, better yet—don’t let them. Cry at home alone and while crying, come up with quick, snappy comebacks. That’s what I try to do, just incase one day someone thinks they can say something to my face and get away with it. It may make you seem like a bitch, but it’s for the better. It’s not like they are any better than you anyways. Just don’t let it get to you; the longer it happens and if it gets really bad, tell an adult. Don’t just stand there and let it happen. And tell the haters that they need to stop drinking haterade, and that they should shut up because they’re wrong about you. That you’re way more than your sexuality, or whatever you’re being bullied for. If they’re transphobics or homophobics or anything, tell them that you didn’t choose to be the way that you are, and that they need to get their facts straight before they go around spreading rumors and demeaning you. It might not seem like it phases them, but I guarantee that one day, they’ll get a taste of their own medicine.
 
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