When I Came Out...

In 10th grade I came out to myself as a lesbian, but it wasn’t until the summer before 11th that I decided to start coming out to my friends. I have been so incredibly fortunate to have the most amazing friends in my life and continue to to this day. I have never had a friend react negatively to my sexual orientation.

In April of 11th grade (2009), my mother found out about me. I had begun working on a PostSecret submission related to my orientation. Normally I could hear her walk down the hall to my room, but this time I hadn’t and she scared me. She noticed that and proceeded to find this submission when I was at school one day. She confronted me in my room several days later and said, “We need to talk”. I knew right then that she knew about me. I walked into the living room and sat on the couch next to her. At first I was incredibly angry at her for snooping, but I held it back and listened to her. She said some of the usual things like “How am I going to have grandkids?” “How are you sure?”. One thing that caught me off guard was “How are you gay? No one else in our family is”. That to me was a silver lining that she didn’t believe it to be a choice. She cried, but she wasn’t angry at me. She told me she still loved me. My mother and stepfather were still supporters of Proposition 8 however (we lived in California at the time) despite knowing about me. That probably hurt the most. For a long time my mom was very sensitive to me expressing myself in a more masculine way. She very rarely ever brought up my sexuality or talked about it.

Now, i’m 20 years old, and my mother has grown so much since that day. I respect her for her religious beliefs and she respects me for who I love. I know it’s something she has to deal with every day and it’s not easy for her, but she is the best mom I could possibly ask for and I love her with all of my heart.