When I Came Out...

I’m twenty-one and I came out to my dad two hours ago.  I’ve been working up to it since I was twelve; ever since I figured out I liked boys.  He sort of facepalmed for a second, then he slid off the couch, knelt down, pressed his face to the floor and started sobbing.  He kept saying things like “You’re too young” and “You’ll suffer” and “Please don’t stop studying”.  I sort of hugged him and told him it was okay and that it wasn’t that bad and he insisted that he didn’t think it was bad, he just hoped that I wasn’t gay.  Which sort of means he does think it’s bad.  And then we maybe had a little bit of a disagreement over the fact that he wanted me to “Please wait until I’m gone” and the fact that I’m not willing to put my personal life on hold and repress myself because it makes him uncomfortable.

Sheesh.  When my mum gets back from this work dinner she’s attending, he’ll probably tell her.  Let’s hope she takes it better than he does.  She probably will, she’s an Elton John fan.

I was an average girl growing up. I had boyfriends and drooled over hot guys with my friends. But my whole life I’ve always felt like something wasn’t quite right. I just pushed it to the back of my mind and carried on. However, when I was 12, the unimaginable happened: I developed a crush. On a girl.

My family is really old-fashioned and homophobic, so I kept my newly discovered bisexuality a secret. Let’s face it: I was so far in the closet that I could see Narnia. I was terrified that my friends and family would practically disown me for the way I felt. It wasn’t until I had just turned 14 that I finally told my mom. She is the most accepting person in my family, so naturally I thought that it would be the right move. To say the least, she didn’t react the way I expected. No yelling, cursing, or fire-breathing. She just smiled and shook her head. I was relieved at first, until she muttered the dreadful words: “Don’t be ridiculous, Breanne. It’s just a phase”. Although I was certain of my sexuality, I was really hoping she was right. I was going to be starting high school, and I was terrified of being rejected or worse…bullied. 

Fortunately, she wasn’t. I’m now 15, almost a sophomore in high school, and a proud bisexual. I no longer think there’s anything to be afraid of, and I’m happy just being me. I talked to my mom a month ago or so and she’s finally starting to accept the fact that it’s not “just a phase”. I won’t grow out of it. I’m now thrilled to say that I’m slowly but surely starting to come out to my friends as well.

So, if you’re going through a tough time coming out and need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I don’t judge and I would love to offer as much advice/help as I can. 

Stay strong<3

Im 20 years old. in the beginging i always thought i was straight. i dated guys like any other girl my age in high school. but i never had that o hes so hot blah blah blah feeling.and being molested ive always felt uneasy around guys. and i remember my junior and senior yr people started to come out about there sexuality. and i noticed this one girl she was a stud. and for some reason i was really attracted to her. but i didnt kno she was a she i thought she was a guy. when i found out she was a really a girl it was liek i was even more attracted to her. and i started to wondering if i was lesbian. and started looking at girls differently wanting to b with them bc it felt more natural and origiannly came out as bisexual. then i started playing game called second life. and going to gay clubs n what not on there to explore these felings lil more. and i met my current gf and she help me realize im a lesbian. then i slowly came out to my best friend. i sat in the car with her and she kept askin about my ring which my gf gave me. and i thought to myself ive gotta tell her.so i started askin questions to see how she would react. and eventually i just told her. and she is completely supportive. ive sort of told my dad through text message. i said one day randomly what would u say if i told u i was into girls and he said ur always my babygirl and i love u. my mother and grandmother doesnt kno as of yet. but i realy really want to tell them. but my grandmother is really religious and me and my mother dont hvae that great of a relationship. so mayb in the future?

Well, I’m 14 and i’ve come out to my mum, and my 3 friends. Basically, i first  came out to myself, I ended up cutting because I felt repulsed at the thought of being gay. I have NOTHING against gay people but i didn’t want to be gay. Then i came out to my friend who i liked for a while, she was so accepting. :) Then my other 2 friends were in the same day. They hugged me and told me they support me!! My mum sort of got it out of me when we were talking but she is completely supportive which im grateful for! I still need to tell my dad.

   For a while, I have been dying to finally tell someone that I think I’m asexual, but most of my close friends are, well, extremely sexual, which led me to think that they just wouldn’t understand. The other night, I was with friends, when the topic of sex came up. After listening awkwardly as they discussed this in vivid detail, I realized I really don’t get it. It wasn’t as much of a realization as a confirmation, but I felt so much better after knowing that it wasn’t just in my head. 

   I could’ve just came out right then; I knew I would’ve been accepted. I mean, if we were all fine hearing our gay friend talk about his unusually large amount of sexual encounters, then they should certainly be fine that I feel no desire to have copious amounts if sex with anyone, right? Regardless, I folded under pressure and spent the rest of the night feeling awkward and disappointed.

   I was still with my best friend the next day, and for most of that time, I was trying to muster up the courage to tell her. She noticed I was being quiet, and made me tell her what was on my mind. It took a good seven minutes of awkward tension and her half-hearted threats for me to finally say it, but when I did, she immediately accepted it and laughed at me for making such a big deal out of it. God, I love her (platonically, of course).

I’m 18 and I just came out to my mom. My family is old school, they don’t like gay people. I was stressed for a month before finally having the guts to tell my mom. I asked her to come to my room and close the door. It took me like 10 minutes to finally say it. She just said “how silly of you to disturb me for that”. She also told me she didn’t knew a lot about it but she will still love me the same and that I could go consult someone if I needed someone to talk to. Only my dad, sister and the rest of the family, but this won’t happen today.

I am 16-year-old male and I’ve been concidering myself as gay, like, my whole life. I was never actually sure about it until 2 years ago I got a girlfriend through an Internet. She lives 6 hours away from me. We liked same things and were alike and I liked her and she likeS me so we started dating.

During the affair I started questioning my own sexuality. Being with her (we met like once a month) didn’t help finding myself ‘cause I felt myself straight every time I was with her. I remember alway at night when we were apart I texted her sad messages about how I had a secret I didn’t want to tell and how I cried about it. I was so sad at that time and very depressed and I even concidered suicide. I was so close with her and I didn’t want to break it all.

While we had dated a year, we were chatting in the Internet, I told her how I can’t be her object of love anymore. She asked why, but I just said that I’m not ready to tell yet because it hurted so bad already. Then she said that she was feeling worse than me which was probably true. Then she went offline and we didn’t talk in two weeks. I know, I was bastard when I left her that way.

While I didn’t talk to my ex, I came out to my big brothers girlfriend who I am friends with and she was very supportive and said that I needed to tell this to my ex. And so I did. It wasn’t easy but it sure was worth it. She was so happy for me and asked why I didn’t say it in the first place. Now we are best friends and hide nothing from each other. She’s just a little bit attached to me still but it gets over

Now I’m open to all my friends but not to family. I’m scared of their reaction, especially dad’s because he is super duper homophobic. Maybe when I am able to support myself 100% I am able to tell them.

gagalanamarina.tumblr.com

It took me 6 years to accept that I regularly developed feelings for women. And once I accepted it, it took me 2 years to get up the courage to tell just one person.

I remember the day, in my car killing time with my best friend. She was a little bit drunk and I was a lot nervous. I kept crying before I could speak and all she could do was give me a hug and wait for me to talk. I remember thinking “this is so silly, why am I crying?!” But it was scary, because I knew that if she turned around and hated me, it would feel like the worst thing in the world. I kept almost saying it, but the words wouldn’t leave my lips, like I was out of breath or out of energy or something. And then, just like that moment when you decide to jump off a cliff into water or flip off a diving board, I just did it. “I’m a lesbian”. I remember not being able to look at her, and I remember being pulled into the most bone crushing hug of all time and whispered the words “Sweetie, I love you so much. You are amazing.”. And I remember the feeling of a weight being lifted, of sucking in a deep breath. 

And then I cried, and so did she (because she was a little bit drunk and when I cry, she cries). And we spent the night discussing hot girls and almost relationships that I’d kept to myself. And on that night I was completely 100% myself, and she didn’t care one bit.

She gave me the courage to come out to my parents, 2 weeks ago.

Thank you Mary. 

Hey everyone, I really enjoyed reading your stories !! Please comment , advice is really helpful :) Right to start I am a 21 Year old guy in 3rd year of Comp science at university. I Only really came out to myself a few months ago and always considered myself as straight before this, maybe a few thoughts but I always discarded these thoughts.

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Hey!

My coming out story is pretty straight forward, so les-be-honest.

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I met up with a friend i had not seen for a long time. We both attended the same high school. Although we did not hang out together as much as we did with our other friends; we are close. And, i’m not sure about here, but i could tell her about my feelings so much more because we suffered from the frustrations around us as well. 

we were talking about gender performativity, and the critique that had come out* from the queer community, particular in regards to transgenders, were that it reductive and crude on their behalf. For it is more than “performance”…and then…..i just casually  commented about how i felt so embarrassed and ashamed of my body when i hit puberty. I had breasts…i didn’t want them at all. I developed the habit of hunching my back and I sewed my first chest binder with a thick elastic strip i found in my mother’s sewing area. i was 12…and on my elder sister’s wedding….i felt terrible the whole time because i didn’t feel comfortable and i was scolded for never smiling that day. I couldn’t when i had double sided taped a piece of fabric across my chest and was utterly conscious of a body i was ashamed of and did not want….

i only told her i hated my breasts; that i didn’t identify with them…….that i was ashamed and embarrassed. She just said “Oh….” and said some sympathetic words to me.

and we continued talking as normal. and she still treats me as she would regularly.

but for some reason, i felt worse. i beat myself up for days for having said anything. I don’t know why. I don’t think i ever will again.

My friend Gina is a girl I have carpooled with to college and studied with for two years. She is really cool and we hang out all the time, but I was so sure she has no idea that I am bi and I didn’t know how to tell her. I have never had to tell anyone before. My friends have all been with me since puberty and they all know. Many times, they have broken it to people by how they jokingly make fun of me for it. :)

To me, I was kind of thinking of Gina like “you are missing some really great opportunities to make fun of me for some of the stuff that comes out of my mouth!” :D   Also, most people know and I would hate for her to find out through someone else.

So the other day, I told her. Very awkward conversation. VERY. She just sat there and stared at me like she was so pissed off she didn’t know what to say. Then she repeated conversations we had had that day and turned everything I had said that day into some kind of predatory sexual come-on. “So when I laid down on your bed and said I’d like to sleep there tonight and you said ‘Go ahead’, you were really thinking about SEX!”

NO. I WAS NOT. >:(

So here is my rant on this subject. I thought she was a good friend and I am not cool with being treated like I was trying to molest her all this time! We have hung out for two years! I helped her try on bras in Lane Bryant for 45 minutes and we cleaned out all of the closets in her house. She is NOT hot. I have never thought about sex once in her presence.

Why would you think that now - all of a sudden - my entire goal is just to screw you????? I am not some predatory molester who is just out to have sex with every girl if I could just get the chance. You have known me for two years! How could you possibly think that of me?!?!?! You liked me five minutes ago when you didn’t know! Reality check: I was gay before I told you!!!!

And by the way, it takes two consenting adults to have sex, especially for girls! What do you think I am going to do?? Dive at your crotch like a freaking labrador??!?!

GRRRR!!!! I am just so angry and disappointed in her. 

So it was a quiet evening. A friend of mine (who we’ll call Jim) was over, so my brother (who we’ll call Tom), Jim and I were sitting around, watching funny YouTube videos and FaceTiming my friend (who we’ll call Ted). So Ted and I were secretly texting, and he convinced me to come out to Tom and Jim. So we got the conversation on the popular talking point of me never dating or mentioning women in my life. 

We discussed it, and they were jokingly asking if I was gay. I finally said “you know what, I’m gay, nothing more, nothing less”. Tom just lied down on the couch and said “my life was finally going good, but now I have a gay brother”. Jim just was quiet (I later learned he was just thinking along the lines of “well, that’s… um… different”). 

Tom still blames me for ruining the night and still is not exactly completely warm to me being gay, but to hell with him. And Ted, Jim and another friend (who we’ll call Mitch), who now know, really don’t care that much. 

So far Tom, Jim, Mitch, Ted (who told his girlfriend despite my protests), a friend from NJ (who we’ll call Steve) and my teacher (who found out from Mitch after a gay rumor spread around and Mitch, trying to keep it a secret, exploded on the instigators. The teacher called Mitch in, Mitch explained everything, and now I have an adult on my side).

So yeah, an interesting turn of events I would say.